Jade’s Diary: Summer Bucket List

It’s summer here in the Philippines, and because of the school calendar shift in the university, I get to enjoy four months of vacation. But it’s not all going to be fun and games. Here’s my bucket list this summer:

1. Get an actual job. I work as online as a freelance writer, but I want to experience working in an actual office and interact with other people.

2. Finish reading Jodi Picoult’s and Lois Lowry book collection. My GoodReads challenge is to read 80 books this year. I’m already at the 30 mark and I plan to read all of Jodi Picoult’s novels and Lois Lowry’s companion books to The Giver.

3. Write book reviews. 

4. Sew clothes or make some fashion illustration.

5. Update this blog regularly.

6. Take pictures.

7. Attend a book discussion.

How about you? What do you plan to do this summer?

 

Inevitable

Even if time travel was possible
I would never go back in time
to alter some detail that would
bring us back together.
Afterall, our break up
would still be inevitable.

————————————————————————————————

Changing the past will not make the future better. Sometimes, it just delays the inevitable.

Bouquet

I sometimes ask myself if our love will last. I am filled with doubts and questions about us. I ask you these questions, I ask you about what will happen to us in the future, but you only look at me and smile. You would hold my hand, filling the empty spaces between my fingers with yours and whisper promises that I pray you will keep.

You answer my doubts with flowers. The tulips, lilies and Rosemaries were unspoken words assuring me that all will be okay. The soft petals remind me of your touch, the gentle way you hold me in your arms. The scent reminds me of your breath on my skin as you whisper “I love you” in my ears.

But flowers fade and die. I try to stop it from wilting but the petals drop like unbidden tears. The leaves curl and crumble like broken promises. I put the flowers in the water, trying to preserve its beauty for a little longer.

Again, I ask myself if our love will last and in the wilted flowers, I found my answer.

————————————————————————————————————

Are you still in love with me?
You held my hand but looked away and said nothing.

 

Scratch Paper

I’m hoping you’ll look at me.
and touch my skin,
to run your fingers on
every line of memory
you painted on me.

But if looking back will
remind you of mistakes
and a broken past,

I will enfold myself in
faithful loneliness,
slipping between the pages
of a forgotten book
and lie with the sleeping dust—

Until someone comes to unfold me
to correct your mistakes
and write new but
better memories.

 

Melancholy

The mirror broke my reflection

Shattered me to pieces

I pick up the shards

But I can’t feel the pain.

 

Is this how it feels

to lose yourself into barren existence;

to drown in a sea of nothingness;

to forget the soul in your veins?

 

I try to hold on to the tiny pieces

Catch the sliver breath of my soul

Wandering to find myself

The one I lost a long time ago.

 

And I wonder, if I shot Cupid’s arrow into my heart

Will I fall in love

or will my heart cease to beat

and fall into a dreamless sleep?

 

 

This poem was inspired by Celdee‘s illustration, Displacement