Sometimes, I’d wake up at 3AM and life would flash before me, a stop motion picture of my favorite memories: waking up in bed with you, feeling your heartbeat beneath my hand as you opened your eyes and planted a soft kiss on my lips; you’d wrap your arms around me while you played your guitar, laughing to my off-tune version of ‘Falling in Love With You’; you’d trail kisses on my shoulder while I cooked in the kitchen, then grab my hand and spin me around like we were dancing at a ball and our daughter would laugh at the silliness of it. But as the first ray of sunlight knocked on my window, I looked at the empty side of my bed, realizing I was remembering memories that never happened, instead created.
You’re a name at the tip of my tongue, an image invading my thoughts. My fingers ache to touch you, my skin longs for your proximity. My heart feels heavy to the point of bursting, tearing at my heartstrings because I cannot tell you how I feel.
I want to tell you that your name reverberates in my soul that each time you’re near, I come undone. I want to say that you are the prince the five-year-old me was waiting for, you are every bit of the dreams and plans I want for my future — you are the arms that embraces me while I cook in the kitchen, you are the smell of morning coffee, you are the hands holding mine at the grocery store, you are the voice from the pages of my books, you are the candlelight dinners, you are the waltz I dance to, you are the goodnight kisses, you’re who I wake up to. You are not perfect but I want you just the same. I want to tell you that your lips are what I want for my first, my second, my third, my last kiss. I want your fingers between my fingers, your arms around me. I want to tell you that I love you, that I am yours completely.
I write when I’m in love, I write when I’m broken. I am in agony of being both. You bridged these two worlds together, entwining emotions I thought I would never feel. You’re a sea crashing down on me in waves, pulling away then drawing near. You drench me with love but tear my heart apart.
I am losing clarity.
I am losing sanity.
in the heart
by the blood
from the capillaries
to the veins
by the air
from the lungs
to the bloodstream
of the body
within the walls
of the pericardium
Looking at my portfolio and past photos, there’s one thing you’ll see in common—the photos have a soft and delicate aura. Though there’s nothing wrong with that, I’ve always wanted to try something dark and edgy. And thanks to Enrico Gutierrez, an awesome and talented photograph, I can now cross one of the items in my bucket list.
Here are some of the photos from our shoot: