Have you ever found yourself buying notebooks just because the cover or paper was cute? I do this most of the time when I’m at a bookstore, at novelty shops and pretty much wherever I see notebooks.
Last month, while cleaning my dorm room, I found a stash of unused notebooks in my closet. There were about a dozen of them, covered in a thin layer of dust just waiting to be picked up and used. I felt really bad when I saw the notebooks. I remember saying to myself that I would use them to write poems, journals and stories but I never did. I sat down and picked each notebook up. Brushing away the dust, I opened it and flipped through the pages, trying to catch that sweet scent of paper and yet, all I could smell was dust. I thought to myself, how would the notebook feel if it was human? Would it feel sad, depressed, alone and unwanted? Or would it think that it was nothing but a pretty face?
I asked myself why I never used the notebooks? Was it because I was busy or was I uninspired? But no. The reason behind that was very simple. I didn’t want to use it because I was afraid to make a mistake, leave an ugly mark or rip off a page. But if I don’t use it, the notebook would soon lose its essence until it becomes an object only taken for its face value.
That’s when I realized that unused notebooks are just like the people we love. Sometimes, we choose to stay away from the people we love because we’re afraid of hurting them. What we don’t realize is that mistakes and problems are what makes a relationship stronger. The marks we leave in people are what they will remember us by.
I know there will come a time when these mistakes will end relationship, but that shouldn’t stop us from loving and interacting with other people. After all, there are four types of people in our lives. Those who are meant to stay with you, those whom you will briefly meet but will change your life, those who will abandon you and those whom you have to let go of.
I’m trying to make a difference. It’ll take a while before I use all the notebooks I stashed. But one day, I will look back at these notebooks, browsing through the pages and reminiscing every word I ever wrote. And like memories, I will tuck them in every corners of my life to share with the people I cherish.
Disclaimer: Photos taken from Tumblr and link back to the sources